Wow! It's been OVER 9 months now! Almost 10 and I still haven't written! :)
This last month, I'm not going to lie, has pretty much been one of the hardest we have gone through-- and I say we because it was particularly trying for Mark and I.
His mission has been hard, like every mission gets I know. He is learning so much and growing and still changing into a better man. :)
For anyone out there reading this wondering about the whole "waiting for a missionary" experience, I am going to tell you right now it's not all rainbows and butterflies after the first 6 months. It gets tough. You know how you are excited to turn 16 to get your license and 17 is like a "filler" year for the year before 18. Well that's how I feel with these in between 6 months to 12 month marks. It's been so aggravating! Haha but time is going by pretty fast. :)
Our mail got really messed up the past few weeks. So I didn't get a letter for two weeks! The letter I had gotten at the beginning of this month wasn't too happy because well he is on his mission and going through a lot of change, it's not easy and I am really glad he told me what was going on in his mission and in his head. (Communication is EVERYTHING while he is gone) So those 2 weeks I was really anxious to hear from him. This is where you learn the talent of keeping yourself distracted really well while you know he isn't doing too awesome... It sucks not being able to really do anything about it either. I just wanted to call him on the phone and make him smile like I used to be able to. It was so hard knowing that I couldn't do that, under any circumstances -- there was literally nothing I could do about it.
I finally received one of my letters, where he explained himself with the Me Going on a Mission thing and I was really glad to hear his explanation. I think that's the number one thing that was straining so much this month. It shouldn't be but it's stressful knowing how everything you thought would happen would be held off for 6 months to maybe a year.
I think what is most important though is that he and I are good now. :) I got his letter and I think he will be receiving mine soon, I hope so! It's nice knowing that we got through a hard month. It was one of the most straining and I feel accomplished getting through it because I didn't give up because everything wasn't dandelions and rainbows. We stuck through it all and now we are fine. :)
I still love him more than anything and can't imagine being with anyone else in my life. I am excited that time is still going by so swiftly! As of today only 81 more days until he has been gone a year! :D Ahhhh! Well here is to the next 15 months! :)
Monday, October 22, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Mission?
As many people know General Conference this year was particularly interesting and life changing. Not only were inspirational words about this wonderful gospel were said, but the age of female missionaries allowed to serve a full time mission is now 19.
Ever since this announcement my head has been spinning! I have ALWAYS wanted to serve a mission. Ever since I was young! I didn't think I would get to though because before I turned 21 I was going to be married to Mark, so I never really worried about it. But now I could go before he comes back. Granted we are a few months past the 6 month point, meaning I wouldn't be here for his homecoming (like I've been dreaming of since almost 9 months ago). I have no idea what I am going to do.
I have prayed about it, but feel like it is solely my decision. I am worthy, have the money and means to go, but I just don't know what to do. It's scary- actually thinking about filling out the paperwork and getting endowments done to teach the gospel, but it's exciting all the same! I want to help in spreading the gospel more then I have. I want to get out of where I am comfortable in Utah and Arizona and have a real big change. I just don't know what to do.
I think it makes it a bit harder, because the prophet still doesn't say that all worthy and able females should go on their mission like they do with males. It's like "It's not a bad thing at all, it's a really good thing, but it's your decision." I don't feel obligated to go or not go. I don't feel like I should or shouldn't. I just am right in the middle where I think it'd be a fun experience, but scary at the same time.
I want to be able to know first hand what Mark went through. I want to have some of the same experiences. Of course our experiences would be totally different in ways, but similar in the fact that we'd be teaching the gospel and learning how to better serve our fellow men. He would have to wait a minimum of 6 months to a max of a year for me to get home. He'd be able to see first hand at what life is like in the "real world" if you will, waiting for someone. Then he might be able to better understand my feelings and emotions during this time I've been waiting for him so faithfully.
I don't want to do this to be away from him any longer then I have to be. I don't want to extend this period of time that I can't see him from the already long 2 years to maybe 2 and a half or 3, but I feel like I have such an opportunity and I want to be able to take it. I feel like I might be ungrateful for this wonderful revelation in our times not taking advantage of it while I can. I don't want to stay in Utah/ Arizona and not go around and see some of the world. I feel like I would be missing out on so many chances to get out and learn and see more about life-- maybe I'd appreciate mine more.
I want to get that deep connection with my Heavenly Father, more then I already have. Christ is my brother and best friend. I want to serve others the way He has served me.
I emailed Mark about it today and the response wasn't excited or sad. I think it's hard for him to digest. He's been used to the thought of me being home when he is home and I think the thought of me not being here when he's home isn't something he likes all that much. He said he'd support me and that he'd wait for me. Now I guess I feel like how he felt-- wondering if the other would wait. It's scary. Thinking that I've waited for so long on him to come home (almost a year now) and if he came home and for some reason didn't wait that 6-12 months for me to get there. What would I do? I know a lot of mission presidents make it a point to push the missionary to get married quickly after he gets home, so that thought kind of scares me. My mom says that if Mark is the one for me that he'd wait for me to come home. I believe that. It really does take character and discipline to wait so faithfully for someone. I don't know if many of the other girls who send out missionaries think this, but I know when Mark left and even still currently today I think, "Would he wait for me like I've waited for him?" I had asked him this before he left and he said he would and I trust that he would.
It's so crazy having the roles reversed. I wish he and I could really talk about it. I think that would be great, but you can't always have what you want right? I'm going to go talk to my bishop about it really soon so he can give me guidance and I can pray more about what I should do and when I should do it.
Who knows! Maybe this time next year I'll be almost done with my mission. :)
Ever since this announcement my head has been spinning! I have ALWAYS wanted to serve a mission. Ever since I was young! I didn't think I would get to though because before I turned 21 I was going to be married to Mark, so I never really worried about it. But now I could go before he comes back. Granted we are a few months past the 6 month point, meaning I wouldn't be here for his homecoming (like I've been dreaming of since almost 9 months ago). I have no idea what I am going to do.
I have prayed about it, but feel like it is solely my decision. I am worthy, have the money and means to go, but I just don't know what to do. It's scary- actually thinking about filling out the paperwork and getting endowments done to teach the gospel, but it's exciting all the same! I want to help in spreading the gospel more then I have. I want to get out of where I am comfortable in Utah and Arizona and have a real big change. I just don't know what to do.
I think it makes it a bit harder, because the prophet still doesn't say that all worthy and able females should go on their mission like they do with males. It's like "It's not a bad thing at all, it's a really good thing, but it's your decision." I don't feel obligated to go or not go. I don't feel like I should or shouldn't. I just am right in the middle where I think it'd be a fun experience, but scary at the same time.
I want to be able to know first hand what Mark went through. I want to have some of the same experiences. Of course our experiences would be totally different in ways, but similar in the fact that we'd be teaching the gospel and learning how to better serve our fellow men. He would have to wait a minimum of 6 months to a max of a year for me to get home. He'd be able to see first hand at what life is like in the "real world" if you will, waiting for someone. Then he might be able to better understand my feelings and emotions during this time I've been waiting for him so faithfully.
I don't want to do this to be away from him any longer then I have to be. I don't want to extend this period of time that I can't see him from the already long 2 years to maybe 2 and a half or 3, but I feel like I have such an opportunity and I want to be able to take it. I feel like I might be ungrateful for this wonderful revelation in our times not taking advantage of it while I can. I don't want to stay in Utah/ Arizona and not go around and see some of the world. I feel like I would be missing out on so many chances to get out and learn and see more about life-- maybe I'd appreciate mine more.
I want to get that deep connection with my Heavenly Father, more then I already have. Christ is my brother and best friend. I want to serve others the way He has served me.
I emailed Mark about it today and the response wasn't excited or sad. I think it's hard for him to digest. He's been used to the thought of me being home when he is home and I think the thought of me not being here when he's home isn't something he likes all that much. He said he'd support me and that he'd wait for me. Now I guess I feel like how he felt-- wondering if the other would wait. It's scary. Thinking that I've waited for so long on him to come home (almost a year now) and if he came home and for some reason didn't wait that 6-12 months for me to get there. What would I do? I know a lot of mission presidents make it a point to push the missionary to get married quickly after he gets home, so that thought kind of scares me. My mom says that if Mark is the one for me that he'd wait for me to come home. I believe that. It really does take character and discipline to wait so faithfully for someone. I don't know if many of the other girls who send out missionaries think this, but I know when Mark left and even still currently today I think, "Would he wait for me like I've waited for him?" I had asked him this before he left and he said he would and I trust that he would.
It's so crazy having the roles reversed. I wish he and I could really talk about it. I think that would be great, but you can't always have what you want right? I'm going to go talk to my bishop about it really soon so he can give me guidance and I can pray more about what I should do and when I should do it.
Who knows! Maybe this time next year I'll be almost done with my mission. :)
Sunday, September 30, 2012
8 Month Vlog
8 Months! :)
I know my eight month mark was almost a month ago, but I just wanted to share some thoughts I had on it.
The eighth month came faster then the others, but because I was so preoccupied. I moved to college right after the 7 months and so this has been my first full month out of my parent's house and in my own apartment. :) The third week of me being gone my step dad passed away, as many of you can see, and that has been one of the hardest trials I have had to overcome. In the beginning it was really hard for me to accept that he was gone and not coming back. But after you get over that it's easier because we know what lies ahead of them. We know that there is more to this life then just the earth life. I KNOW I am sealed to him and that if I keep my covenants here on Earth I will be with him and the rest of my family forever. :)
It's these simple truths we learn in primary that carry us through our life. Those simple principles that there is a Heavenly Father that loves us and He knows the best for us, there is more to life then the Earth life and ideas of that nature that helped me overcome this loss in my Earth life. These ideas and a lot of prayer have helped me see that there is a bigger picture for all of us. That He is in control of our lives and whatever goes on happens for a reason. He doesn't want us to hate life or be in a terrible pit for eternity, or let us die and nothing come from life and the trials we overcome or face here. There is a reason for everything and though we don't understand it now, we will be able to more fully understand as we grow and mature physically and spiritually.
All of this happening has helped me see that I am a strong person. I can overcome these trials with a lot of prayer and my family and friends. It has given me a sense of more independence then I have ever had. Yes it would have been nice to have someone behind me every step of the way holding me and helping me, but when I needed it most those who really truly cared came to help me and be with me. It has helped show me who really cares for me and my welfare. It has also helped me gain that stronger relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know that He was there holding me through this entire time-- when I cried He was there. He comforted me through the toughest parts of grieving and he still comforts me every day as He always has.
It has given me a new respect for missionary work. My step dad got taught the gospel from a couple missionaries who had stayed in contact with him his entire life. They were there at his funeral-- one flew all the way from Canada to be there for our family. There is a love and connection that missionaries grow with the people they serve and those friendships can and will last for eternity. I love that Mark is serving the people of Georgia and I see how he is growing to love the people he is serving, which is one of the greatest gifts of missionary work-- service to our fellow men.
I love this gospel and I am proud of Mark and every other missionary for teaching it to those who haven't heard this precious word. I have a testimony of it. This gospel is the one true gospel on the Earth today, I am lucky to have it in my life. :)
Here is to the next 16 months! :)
The eighth month came faster then the others, but because I was so preoccupied. I moved to college right after the 7 months and so this has been my first full month out of my parent's house and in my own apartment. :) The third week of me being gone my step dad passed away, as many of you can see, and that has been one of the hardest trials I have had to overcome. In the beginning it was really hard for me to accept that he was gone and not coming back. But after you get over that it's easier because we know what lies ahead of them. We know that there is more to this life then just the earth life. I KNOW I am sealed to him and that if I keep my covenants here on Earth I will be with him and the rest of my family forever. :)
It's these simple truths we learn in primary that carry us through our life. Those simple principles that there is a Heavenly Father that loves us and He knows the best for us, there is more to life then the Earth life and ideas of that nature that helped me overcome this loss in my Earth life. These ideas and a lot of prayer have helped me see that there is a bigger picture for all of us. That He is in control of our lives and whatever goes on happens for a reason. He doesn't want us to hate life or be in a terrible pit for eternity, or let us die and nothing come from life and the trials we overcome or face here. There is a reason for everything and though we don't understand it now, we will be able to more fully understand as we grow and mature physically and spiritually.
All of this happening has helped me see that I am a strong person. I can overcome these trials with a lot of prayer and my family and friends. It has given me a sense of more independence then I have ever had. Yes it would have been nice to have someone behind me every step of the way holding me and helping me, but when I needed it most those who really truly cared came to help me and be with me. It has helped show me who really cares for me and my welfare. It has also helped me gain that stronger relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know that He was there holding me through this entire time-- when I cried He was there. He comforted me through the toughest parts of grieving and he still comforts me every day as He always has.
It has given me a new respect for missionary work. My step dad got taught the gospel from a couple missionaries who had stayed in contact with him his entire life. They were there at his funeral-- one flew all the way from Canada to be there for our family. There is a love and connection that missionaries grow with the people they serve and those friendships can and will last for eternity. I love that Mark is serving the people of Georgia and I see how he is growing to love the people he is serving, which is one of the greatest gifts of missionary work-- service to our fellow men.
I love this gospel and I am proud of Mark and every other missionary for teaching it to those who haven't heard this precious word. I have a testimony of it. This gospel is the one true gospel on the Earth today, I am lucky to have it in my life. :)
Here is to the next 16 months! :)
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Give It All You've Got, Then Give It Some More
This month was definitely THE hardest most trial provoking month ever. Honestly...
As you know I moved to college and I got so lucky by getting some really awesome and amazing roommates, money was working out, I got a job automatically, I was safe and everything was going pretty much perfectly. The second week of being gone, my step dad passed away and I was so distracted and I wasn't able to focus in classes. That week was all my test days. I didn't pass one of them with a good grade... we won't go in to details haha. But I am just trying to keep it together!
I went to meet with my bishop tonight (he called me in to give me a calling) so now I have a calling and got a blessing from him. He finally knows what all has gone on and I am glad for that. I haven't been too vocal about it with people around me because I don't want them treating me differently then they should. My roommates all know, but they needed to know and are close to me. But other then them and just Mark's family up here not too many people know.
I have learned a lot though.. I have learned that the people who genuinely care for you will make an effort to talk to you when something terribly wrong goes on in your life. They will show you that they care. I have learned all about life. It is short and we need to make the time here count. When I see my step dad's funeral paper with his birth date and his passing date it makes me sick... I think that when he was born and passed are not important-- it is what is in the middle that matters the most. Nobody will really remember your first day or passing, they will mostly remember those good memories you made together, the times you enjoyed each other or just being with the other. I just remember all the times he and I shared a laugh and agreed on something. I love him and will miss him.
This month went fast! That's for sure! I feel like I just got done writing about last month and it has been another month passed! Crazy right?! But in the end, life is good. I know that Satan is always there trying to bog me down and I am not going to let him do that to me. I think that I just really want to tell anyone, if anyone is reading this, that there are times when you feel like you can't keep going on. Like there is nothing else in you to give. But get up and keep going! You can find the strength in you to keep on going, I found it. It is mind over matter. Your mind and the world might be telling you you can't but you have to show them that you are more then that. You are made up of something great and brilliant and that nothing anyone can do or say is going to stop you from being something wonderful and achieving something genius! You just have to get up and do it.
Here's to the next 16 months! :D
As you know I moved to college and I got so lucky by getting some really awesome and amazing roommates, money was working out, I got a job automatically, I was safe and everything was going pretty much perfectly. The second week of being gone, my step dad passed away and I was so distracted and I wasn't able to focus in classes. That week was all my test days. I didn't pass one of them with a good grade... we won't go in to details haha. But I am just trying to keep it together!
I went to meet with my bishop tonight (he called me in to give me a calling) so now I have a calling and got a blessing from him. He finally knows what all has gone on and I am glad for that. I haven't been too vocal about it with people around me because I don't want them treating me differently then they should. My roommates all know, but they needed to know and are close to me. But other then them and just Mark's family up here not too many people know.
I have learned a lot though.. I have learned that the people who genuinely care for you will make an effort to talk to you when something terribly wrong goes on in your life. They will show you that they care. I have learned all about life. It is short and we need to make the time here count. When I see my step dad's funeral paper with his birth date and his passing date it makes me sick... I think that when he was born and passed are not important-- it is what is in the middle that matters the most. Nobody will really remember your first day or passing, they will mostly remember those good memories you made together, the times you enjoyed each other or just being with the other. I just remember all the times he and I shared a laugh and agreed on something. I love him and will miss him.
This month went fast! That's for sure! I feel like I just got done writing about last month and it has been another month passed! Crazy right?! But in the end, life is good. I know that Satan is always there trying to bog me down and I am not going to let him do that to me. I think that I just really want to tell anyone, if anyone is reading this, that there are times when you feel like you can't keep going on. Like there is nothing else in you to give. But get up and keep going! You can find the strength in you to keep on going, I found it. It is mind over matter. Your mind and the world might be telling you you can't but you have to show them that you are more then that. You are made up of something great and brilliant and that nothing anyone can do or say is going to stop you from being something wonderful and achieving something genius! You just have to get up and do it.
Here's to the next 16 months! :D
Sunday, September 9, 2012
My Dad
I know that this post is really similar to the last post about my dad, but I read that post during the services and I just wanted to post what I actually read and said-- with all the little stories in it and everything. :) I love you dad! Until we meet again!
"My dad, well what can I say more? He was my dad. My mom and he got married a little over 10 years ago. My parents were divorced when I was 4 so Bob was the only dad I knew, he was the one who was actually a dad to me.
When they first got married I remember living in a house with him and in the mornings we would climb into my parent's bed and he'd tickle us and we'd play around all morning. I remember that when my mom came to us and said, “Girls Bob and I want to get married what do you think?” and when I answered my number one reason to saying yes was, “Yeah! He’ll tickle us all the time and it will be so much fun!” It was so much fun to have him around. He was laughing a lot. Just all the time and he'd make us laugh too.
He taught me discipline. There were SO many times I disliked him SO much to where I just didn't want to be around him. But that's what good parents do. He helped teach me how to work and be the person I have become today.
He introduced me to hunting and fishing. I loved going quail hunting with him. I remember one time I shot really well and got three or more birds in one shot and he talked about that for a few weeks afterwards. I loved shooting and target practicing. Fishing was so much fun too. I didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as I did because whenever I would see pictures of people fishing you just saw them sitting there, but I loved it. Bob just made it fun. He always had this rule-- you do NOT throw back the first fish you catch of the day or else you won't get any more the rest of the day. I know kind of a funny thing but it always worked! If you kept the first one you always got more.
I remember during the summers I'd go into the garage and he'd be working on his project. A Willys Jeep he was working on scratch. I'd help him with each little part he was working on and I felt like sometimes I really helped a lot even though I just held screwdrivers and stuff. After he finally got it running he'd take us out on it and we'd just go for a Jeep ride. He would take us out on his four wheeler too and I loved those rides. He'd let us drive too, which of course was such a big deal and so cool considering we did not have a permit or license. :) After I got my permit he taught me how to drive stick shift. When we were driving once he had let me know that I needed to turn the wheel back after I turned, but one time I totally forgot and kind of freaked out and we were going straight for a telephone pole. He reached over and pulled the wheel back before we went into the pole, but ever since then he would tease me saying “Oh no Jennica is driving we might run into a telephone pole!” Before I left to college not too long ago he let me drive the Jeep one last time. It was so much fun.
My dad would get up early and cook breakfast or make awesome dinners. He'd usually make a meat of some sort, fried potatoes and another vegetable. His potatoes were just the best. I remember when I started experimenting with recipes I made a Cajun chicken pasta and he said, "It's good but it's making me sweat like a dog!"
He would plant a garden and get so excited of the fruits and vegetables he'd get off it. He was so good with them too. One time there was a large watermelon and he wanted to check and see if it was ripe yet or not. So he goes out and puts a hole in it and it wasn’t exactly ripe yet so he puts some duct tape on it and leaves it back out on the ground. It was rotten within the week. He'd roadertill the entire backyard and he used to say that we grew rocks because of the amount of rock he'd take out of the ground, after every time he’d always have a full wheel barrow or more.
He transformed our outdoors. Our front yard went from what looked like a grave of rocks to grass everywhere with rose bushes and a water fountain (which would freeze in the winters and he thought it looked so cool -- it did look really cool and it was even in the paper once). I used to give people directions to my house and say, “My house is the one on the street that looks like there is actually life and people living in it.” He brought life to that house.
When I first started making trips to Utah or driving he'd say, "Jennica if you ever get into trouble I WILL come and get you. No matter where I am I will get you." He wanted me to stay safe and he said he couldn't bare the thought and wouldn’t forgive himself if something bad happening to me or one of my sisters.
I have so many memories with him- ten years worth. My last memories of him was him coming with my family to drop me off at college. He gave me my school blessing and when I went to leave he gave me the biggest hug and started just crying so hard. He was so sad I was leaving and said “I just feel like everyone is leaving.” I just promised that I'd visit often. When I found out I had a job on my way up there I called him to let him know- I didn't want him hearing from anyone else! :) He called me so many times that day probably 13 times and I am so glad that he did. :) He came with my family to see everything and drop more stuff off. I just can't believe that was the last time I'd ever see him...
He should have had such a longer life ahead of him. I wanted him to see me graduate college and become successful. I really wanted him there at my wedding and I mostly wanted him to be my kids' grandpa. He was a really good grandpa to his grandkids who are alive now. But I know that this was his time to go. I don't understand it fully now but I know I will understand maybe a few years from now.
Dad- I love you so much. You always did so much to keep us safe and smiling. I know things got tough there for a while but we always pulled through it somehow. Thank you for all the work you did for us. You were one heck of a dad. I will always hold a place in my heart for you. I love you. I'll make you proud, I promise. I am so glad that I am sealed to you. You loved my mom so much-- I know you did and always have. Thank you for treating us good and giving us the companionship we really needed at times. Even though your time isn't here anymore I know you passed happy, smiling, and loving all of us.
I love you. Until I see you again.
Your daughter,
Jennica"
"My dad, well what can I say more? He was my dad. My mom and he got married a little over 10 years ago. My parents were divorced when I was 4 so Bob was the only dad I knew, he was the one who was actually a dad to me.
When they first got married I remember living in a house with him and in the mornings we would climb into my parent's bed and he'd tickle us and we'd play around all morning. I remember that when my mom came to us and said, “Girls Bob and I want to get married what do you think?” and when I answered my number one reason to saying yes was, “Yeah! He’ll tickle us all the time and it will be so much fun!” It was so much fun to have him around. He was laughing a lot. Just all the time and he'd make us laugh too.
He taught me discipline. There were SO many times I disliked him SO much to where I just didn't want to be around him. But that's what good parents do. He helped teach me how to work and be the person I have become today.
He introduced me to hunting and fishing. I loved going quail hunting with him. I remember one time I shot really well and got three or more birds in one shot and he talked about that for a few weeks afterwards. I loved shooting and target practicing. Fishing was so much fun too. I didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as I did because whenever I would see pictures of people fishing you just saw them sitting there, but I loved it. Bob just made it fun. He always had this rule-- you do NOT throw back the first fish you catch of the day or else you won't get any more the rest of the day. I know kind of a funny thing but it always worked! If you kept the first one you always got more.
I remember during the summers I'd go into the garage and he'd be working on his project. A Willys Jeep he was working on scratch. I'd help him with each little part he was working on and I felt like sometimes I really helped a lot even though I just held screwdrivers and stuff. After he finally got it running he'd take us out on it and we'd just go for a Jeep ride. He would take us out on his four wheeler too and I loved those rides. He'd let us drive too, which of course was such a big deal and so cool considering we did not have a permit or license. :) After I got my permit he taught me how to drive stick shift. When we were driving once he had let me know that I needed to turn the wheel back after I turned, but one time I totally forgot and kind of freaked out and we were going straight for a telephone pole. He reached over and pulled the wheel back before we went into the pole, but ever since then he would tease me saying “Oh no Jennica is driving we might run into a telephone pole!” Before I left to college not too long ago he let me drive the Jeep one last time. It was so much fun.
My dad would get up early and cook breakfast or make awesome dinners. He'd usually make a meat of some sort, fried potatoes and another vegetable. His potatoes were just the best. I remember when I started experimenting with recipes I made a Cajun chicken pasta and he said, "It's good but it's making me sweat like a dog!"
He would plant a garden and get so excited of the fruits and vegetables he'd get off it. He was so good with them too. One time there was a large watermelon and he wanted to check and see if it was ripe yet or not. So he goes out and puts a hole in it and it wasn’t exactly ripe yet so he puts some duct tape on it and leaves it back out on the ground. It was rotten within the week. He'd roadertill the entire backyard and he used to say that we grew rocks because of the amount of rock he'd take out of the ground, after every time he’d always have a full wheel barrow or more.
He transformed our outdoors. Our front yard went from what looked like a grave of rocks to grass everywhere with rose bushes and a water fountain (which would freeze in the winters and he thought it looked so cool -- it did look really cool and it was even in the paper once). I used to give people directions to my house and say, “My house is the one on the street that looks like there is actually life and people living in it.” He brought life to that house.
When I first started making trips to Utah or driving he'd say, "Jennica if you ever get into trouble I WILL come and get you. No matter where I am I will get you." He wanted me to stay safe and he said he couldn't bare the thought and wouldn’t forgive himself if something bad happening to me or one of my sisters.
I have so many memories with him- ten years worth. My last memories of him was him coming with my family to drop me off at college. He gave me my school blessing and when I went to leave he gave me the biggest hug and started just crying so hard. He was so sad I was leaving and said “I just feel like everyone is leaving.” I just promised that I'd visit often. When I found out I had a job on my way up there I called him to let him know- I didn't want him hearing from anyone else! :) He called me so many times that day probably 13 times and I am so glad that he did. :) He came with my family to see everything and drop more stuff off. I just can't believe that was the last time I'd ever see him...
He should have had such a longer life ahead of him. I wanted him to see me graduate college and become successful. I really wanted him there at my wedding and I mostly wanted him to be my kids' grandpa. He was a really good grandpa to his grandkids who are alive now. But I know that this was his time to go. I don't understand it fully now but I know I will understand maybe a few years from now.
Dad- I love you so much. You always did so much to keep us safe and smiling. I know things got tough there for a while but we always pulled through it somehow. Thank you for all the work you did for us. You were one heck of a dad. I will always hold a place in my heart for you. I love you. I'll make you proud, I promise. I am so glad that I am sealed to you. You loved my mom so much-- I know you did and always have. Thank you for treating us good and giving us the companionship we really needed at times. Even though your time isn't here anymore I know you passed happy, smiling, and loving all of us.
I love you. Until I see you again.
Your daughter,
Jennica"
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Life is So Short
I felt like this blog post was and is necessary- I really just want to write about my Dad.As some of you know, my Dad passed away on Saturday night or Sunday morning.
What happened: My family and I went to Provo (I moved out so I hadn't been home for at least 2 weeks). He didn't want to come to the wedding we were attending so he stayed home with his friend who would check on him and make sure he got his medicine for night time and everything. On Sunday his friend went to check in on him and couldn't get him to answer the phone or door, the doors were locked so he called my mom and asked for a way to get into the house. She gave him the passcode to the garage and when he called back he let her know that my step dad was sitting in his recliner- cold and not responding. She told him to call the paramedics, who later confirmed him gone and removed his body. We were all in Provo while this was happening and couldn't really do anything, even if we were in the same town.
My dad, well what can I say more. He was my dad. My mom and he got married a little over 10 years ago. My parents were divorced when I was 4 so Bob was the only dad I knew, he was the one who was actually a dad to me.
When they first got married I remember living in a house with him and in the mornings we would climb into my parent's bed and he'd tickle us and we'd play around in the morning. It was so much fun to have him around. He was laughing a lot. Just all the time and he'd make us laugh too.
He taught me discipline. There were SO many times I disliked him SO much to where I just didn't want to be around him. But that's what good parents do right? He helped teach me how to work and be the person I was.
He introduced me to hunting and fishing. I loved going quail hunting with him. I remember one time I shot really well and got three or more birds in one shot. I loved shooting and target practicing. Fishing was so much fun too. I didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as I did, but I loved it. He always had this rule-- you do NOT throw back the first fish you catch of the day or else you won't get any more the rest of the day. I know kind of a taboo silly thing. :)
I remember during the summers I'd go into the garage and he'd be working on his project. A Willys Jeep he was working on scratch. I'd help him with each little parts he was working on and I felt like sometimes I really helped a lot. :) After he finally got it running he'd take us out on it and we'd just go for a Jeep ride. He would take us out on his four wheeler too and I loved those rides. He'd let us drive too, which of course was such a big deal and so cool. :) After I got my permit he taught me how to drive stick shift. Before I left to college not too long ago he let me drive the Jeep and I'd say I was pretty dang good at it.
My dad would get up early and cook breakfast or make awesome dinners. He'd usually make a meat of some sort, fried potatoes and another vegetable. His potatoes were just the best. I remember when I started experimenting with recipes I made a Cajun chicken pasta and I had put red pepper in it and he said, "It's good but it's making me sweat like a dog!"
He would plant a garden and get so excited of the fruits and vegetables he'd get off it. He was so good with them too. He'd roadertill the entire backyard and he used to say that we grew rocks because of the amount of rock he'd take out of the ground.
He transformed our outdoors. Our front yard went from what looked like a grave of rocks to grass everywhere with rose bushes and a water fountain (which would freeze in the winters and he thought it looked so cool -- it did look really cool and it was even in the paper once).
When I first started making trips to Utah or driving he'd say, "Jennica if you ever get into trouble I WILL come and get you. No matter where I am I will get you." He wanted me to stay safe and he said he couldn't bare the thought of something bad happening to me or one of my sisters.
I have so many memories with him- ten years worth. My last memories of him was him coming with my family to drop me off at college. He gave me my school blessing and when I went to leave he gave me the biggest hug and started just crying so hard. He was so sad I was leaving and I just promised that I'd visit often. When I found out I had a job on my way up there I called him to let him know- I didn't want him hearing from anyone else! :) He called me so many times that day and I am so glad that he did. :) He came with my family to see everything and drop more stuff off. I just can't believe that was the last time I'd ever see him...
He should have had such a longer life ahead of him, I don't know why Heavenly Father decided now to take him from this Earth. I can't believe that everything he had to do was gone because I had so many plans for him! Hah that sounds selfish, but I wanted him to see me graduate college and become successful. I really wanted him there at my wedding and I mostly wanted him to be my kids grandpa. He was a really good grandpa to his grandkids who are alive now. Gosh what I would do for one last hug. But I know that this was his time to go. I don't understand it fully now but I know I will understand maybe a few years from now.
Dad- I love you so much. You always did so much to keep us safe and smiling. I know things got tough there for a while but we always pulled through it somehow. Thank you for all the work you did for us. You were one heck of a dad. I will always hold a place in my heart for you. I love you. I'll make you proud, I promise. I am so glad that I am sealed to you. You loved my mom so much-- I know you did and always have. Thank you for treating her good and giving her the companionship she really needed at that time. Even though your time isn't here anymore I know you passed happy, smiling, and loving all of us.
I love you. Until I see you again.
Your daughter,
Jennica
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