My Life is on HOLD? Where? Please Enlighten Me..

Sometimes on the many Facebook pages of the Waiting for Missionary world I see a post that says "Dating while your missionary is gone is totally essential and definitely needed." But I wonder if this is what they REALLY think. Do they see that there is another side to them then just trying out the waters.. I TOTALLY understand why one girl might feel that dating is essential. I mean look at me, the first time around I dated and now am waiting for a different missionary, but dating is not ESSENTIAL for me now. I have dated before I should have and for so long I feel and now I am focusing on that ever needed and super important relationship with my Heavenly Father.

I believe in life everyone is at different stages, which we all know and only YOU and your Heavenly Father know where you're exactly at. SOMETIMES YOU don't even know where you're exactly at. Some people need to date other people and test out the waters and some just need to live life!

My life has been so fully of boyfriends, them telling me what to do and what not to do that I just want to focus on me and becoming better. YES I STILL have one, but he is gone at the moment being perfected into the person my Heavenly Father wants him to be. :) So why shouldn't I let Him mold me too? Mark doesn't have to date around to become that person so why should I? I don't think you need to date around to see EVERY different quality in every guy and decide what you want. You date and if it doesn't work out great, you learned from it. The next relationship you get in, if there is something you don't like then fine get out of it and continue, but I don't think that looking for that "perfect" guy with all these "perfect" qualities will work out totally. Not saying it wouldn't because it could. Anything is possible. :) But I just remember a lesson in Young Women's we had once where the ladies in there said "There will be at least 10 things you don't like about your husband and while you're dating you just have to pick which 10 things you can put up with for the rest of your life." I totally agree with this. Yes there are some things about Mark that bug me but I get over them. He isn't totally perfect, but the things that aren't perfect about him I have learned to love or just forget all in all. :) I have learned that once you get to know someone and truly LOVE the person they are then you can let go certain things that bug you and learn to love them for them. That's what I've done and Mark has truly become a perfect person to me. :) To some other girl he isn't perfect but since I've learned to sincerely fall in love with him I don't see his flaws but I see and love his strengths. :) I think THAT is what is most important. To find someone you sincerely love to the point where you don't see their flaws anymore. You love who they are and you can't see yourself with any other guy. I honestly CANNOT see myself with anyone else.

It is not a shame to not date. It's not at all and I hope some girls reading this will realize that it is okay to not date even though some girls say it is essential. If you feel like it's right then do it. That's what you should do! You might just find that other person. But if you don't feel like you should date, aren't ready to or anything of that sort for any reason at all don't feel like you SHOULD or HAVE TO. Some people say "You're putting your life on hold" if you don't date. Well is your life ONLY about guys? Is your life SO revolved around a boyfriend or a relationship status that you are putting your entire life on hold to not date while someone you care about is gone? I'm sorry but I think there is more to life then just a relationship status. I KNOW there is more and there are more relationships that I need to strengthen before I get married to anyone. I don't need to date while Mark is gone, but this doesn't mean my life is on hold. My life is better then it has been in years and I am not actively going on dates with anyone.

Some girls say "There is always that IF" that my missionary "Still might not be the one, it's always a possibility." Let's just say that for one slight second you're correct, well I don't see whats wrong with learning how to cook instead of having someone buy me dinner. What guy is going to complain if their girlfriend or wife can cook like a beast and bake like Betty Crocker?! I don't know a man that I'd be interested in who would find me having a strong relationship with my Heavenly Father unattractive. I don't know a guy who wouldn't like their wife to have a strong testimony of their faith. I don't know a guy who wouldn't like their future spouse to know how to mend clothing or make their own clothing. I couldn't imagine a guy who wouldn't like an educated spouse who can help support their family in case he couldn't do so. If a guy wants a family, wouldn't he want someone who is good with children and has experience teaching and taking care of such special spirits? What guy doesn't want a girl who is going to work and saving money for her future. Last time I checked it was a good thing to make and save money. If waiting and not dating while he is gone is putting your life on hold then please tell me where my life is on hold. You don't NEED to date to gain any of the qualities I have mentioned. :) My DATING life might be on hold, but I don't see a problem with the things I am doing while my missionary is gone. I'm not dating but I am STILL becoming a better person. :)

I am a firm believer that for some girls, yes dating is important and essential. :) Go for it! Go date them all and become the person you want from that! Learn from your experiences and don't leave any regrets. But if you aren't dating or don't want to, then don't. You don't have to or need to. If you KNOW with all your heart that your missionary is THE guy for you and you don't have any desire to date there are MANY other aspects in life that you can attend to. :) There's no shame in that. :)