Goals with a Smile :)

Oh email days, can I say I LOVE THEM!!

Mark just makes me smile. :) There is NO other explanation for it. What he says just melts my heart some weeks. :) Even though they aren't all perfect I just love hearing I love you. :) As long as I hear those three words, I can keep doing this waiting thing. :) He literally makes me tear up. :) The weeks seem like they are getting longer and harder to endure, but he keeps me going. :)

The end of his email this week said this, "Anyways i just want you to know i love you sweetheart. And i dont care that your tall.  Thats stupid,  people who just marry someone because they have a perfect body are ______'s  and ______.  ( you can fill those in lol)  Honestly i could care less if you are tall or short, skinny or fat. All i care about is whats on your insides.  and those insides are good gosh dangit!.   I love you jenn and thats all that matters.  i need to go though and hurry and write my other emails.  I LOVE YOU!! :) :X:X:X:X:X:X:X" If you didn't know, I am over 6'1" AND I have definitely been bugged about it my entire life. It's been something I've been told to be proud of and something I've been self conscious about my entire life. (I should count how many times a day people tell me I am tall, you would probably be surprised.) ANYWAY when I started dating Mark, who isn't as tall as me -- a couple inches shorter, he started getting crap about my height, yeah like that makes me feel better lol. But anyway I love that he said this. :) I don't know where the heck it came from, I don't remember mentioning my height anywhere.. I'll have to re-read my letter or something, but this just gives me more confidence in myself. :)

My thoughts tonight... I feel like I am trying too hard to fit in. I hate it. I am trying to make friends before I go to Utah and I feel like I really have, I have one really good girl friend that I hope I will be roommates with, but other than that, I feel like I've been struggling to fit in or something, which is weird for me because I have always been included. Kind of a reverse in roles I guess and it's weird. But tonight I have decided and made a goal that I will just be me. No more trying to fit in or doing certain things or promising other things just to have friends. I am just going to do me and if they wanna stick around awesome. :) I love people, but other than that I'm good. I need to shorten my Facebook time... I think I will stop going on there so often and focus on the more important things in life. I think I will stop visiting my "Waiting for Missionary" sites every day five times a day and focus on my life. Hopefully that will help this dragging time pick up. :) So those are my goals and I'm going to stick to them. :)

A memory of us: :) Before we were really serious and dating we both had goals that in our marriages divorce wasn't an option. As we have grown closer and more serious to the point to now we want to get married we have been by each others side. No we haven't always been next to each other [that would have been nice :)] But we've just always known that the other person was there no matter what. We have stuck by each other through some of the hardest things some couples never face and we have made it out stronger. I love him more and more everyday. :) In his email today he sent me a video link that just made me tear up and cry. :) I love him so much! He's turning into that man I've always dreamed of and more. :)
http://www.lds.org/pages/mormon-messages?lang=eng#saving-your-marriage

I will NEVER give up! :)