My first missionary came home today. Honestly it's kinda weird, but I got to really talk to him. Although it was over the phone, I got to finally get my questions answered. I can't even believe his answers.
I don't want to go into detail, but he is really understanding. I told him the blunt truth about pretty much everything and he took it really well. Although he said he doesn't want to hear anything about mine and Mark's relationship anymore, he knows it exists and knows that Mark and I want to get married. I feel bad that I hurt Anthony, but I guess that's just something we have to accept and move on with. I will always love Anthony as a person, I don't think I could ever not, but I could never be in love with him again nor be in a relationship with him again and he and I have come to that understanding. We can be really honest with each other, but I just hope he tells me how he's feeling and isn't hiding it. I don't want him to hide it because I told him pretty much everything I could think of. I just wanted to lay the cards on the table and say here you go, this is it. I didn't want him to hear anything from anyone else, so I threw it all at him to see where he'd go with it.
As of now he and I can be friends. I don't know how GOOD of friends I want to be. We will be close, but I don't want old feelings coming back, so now I just have to remember to guard myself from that. :)
Other than that, everything went really well. I am really glad that he and I had the talk that we did. Now I feel like I can move further with the things I want to do with my life. I am more excited to move and just move on with everything. :) Thank goodness! I had been wondering what would happen on this day for over 2 years! It's crazy it's finally all over.
I just know that God is real and loves us and has us in his mind. He knows where we are and loves us all. He knows what we need and I see the many blessings he has given me in my life. Though Mark and I aren't the "perfect" couple, we definitely have our problems, we are able to make each other better. I am glad to say that I am a better person then I was 2 years ago. I am glad to be in the relationship I am in with the person I am with. I am happy where I am today and I love the person I am. I wouldn't change it for the world.
So I guess I want to thank my Heavenly Father for the people He had put in my life. They really have molded me into the person I am today. Although life isn't easy, it's totally worth it. :)
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