While Mark has been gone I have been trying to do all these things on this month by month list of what to do while your missionary has gone from http://waitingforamissionary.synthasite.com/A_24_Month_To-Do_list.php. I have done pretty well too. :) I think I have been a little late on some of them, but I have succeeded in all of them. :)
So for the 4 month one I kind of changed it because I already have a "Mr. Right" list of everything I want in a man from when I was in Young Women's. So I changed it to what I miss about Mark and what I love about Mark. Here are some of the things I have come up with that I miss. Some of them might sound ridiculous, but it's crazy everything you miss when you haven't been around him for a while. :) I am sorry this is so long! I have shortened it up quite a bit though. :)
5/11/2012
If someone were to ask me what I missed about Mark, I don’t
know where I would start. The number one thing I miss is how he made me feel
safe. He told me once “Babe I will never let anything bad happen to you” and I
knew he was sincere. I just always felt like I had nothing to worry about when
I am with him. Even being 4 hours away I felt like if something bad were to
happen he’d be there as soon as possible to get me.
I miss how he’d walk up to me with his arms spread out and
open and close his hands as he was walking towards me to get a hug. :)
I miss his hugs.
I miss laying my head on his chest.
I miss cuddling with him.
I miss talking with him on the porch. One of my favorite times ever was just sitting on his front porch looking at the stars and talking about our future. How he could fix up the place or how he wanted a fence so he would feel safer.
I miss riding passenger seat in a car and looking over at him driving. I would
love to just look at him because I knew he was next to me. He was right there.
Tangible. I could hold his hand.
I miss him being able to calm me down when I start to freak out. Over little things most the time, but I miss being able to call him and just tell him everything. Half the time I doubt he was listening, but it made me feel better.
I miss kissing him.
I miss laying on the couch across from him, holding his hand while we slept. I remember waking up sometimes and we weren’t holding hands. I’d grab his hand and then fall back asleep. I think I remember him kissing my forehead and telling me goodnight.
I miss him tucking me in at night. He would come into the room and tuck me in and give me a goodnight kiss. He would tuck the blanket in under my feet and make sure I had more than one blanket on me. He would layer as many blankets as he could find on me to make sure I didn’t get cold. He ALWAYS would leave and say “Goodnight babe I love you. If you need anything I am just right here in the other room.” His example of something I might need was always a blanket. haha. Sometimes I’d say “BABE You forgot something!” then when he’d come back I’d have my arms stretched out and open and close my hands. I’d give him a hug and kiss. I think once I even went into his room to talk to him for a minute and give him a kiss goodnight.
I miss his hugs.
I miss laying my head on his chest.
I miss cuddling with him.
I miss talking with him on the porch. One of my favorite times ever was just sitting on his front porch looking at the stars and talking about our future. How he could fix up the place or how he wanted a fence so he would feel safer.
I miss riding passenger seat in a car and looking over at him driving. I would
love to just look at him because I knew he was next to me. He was right there.
Tangible. I could hold his hand. I miss him being able to calm me down when I start to freak out. Over little things most the time, but I miss being able to call him and just tell him everything. Half the time I doubt he was listening, but it made me feel better.
I miss kissing him.
I miss laying on the couch across from him, holding his hand while we slept. I remember waking up sometimes and we weren’t holding hands. I’d grab his hand and then fall back asleep. I think I remember him kissing my forehead and telling me goodnight.
I miss him tucking me in at night. He would come into the room and tuck me in and give me a goodnight kiss. He would tuck the blanket in under my feet and make sure I had more than one blanket on me. He would layer as many blankets as he could find on me to make sure I didn’t get cold. He ALWAYS would leave and say “Goodnight babe I love you. If you need anything I am just right here in the other room.” His example of something I might need was always a blanket. haha. Sometimes I’d say “BABE You forgot something!” then when he’d come back I’d have my arms stretched out and open and close my hands. I’d give him a hug and kiss. I think once I even went into his room to talk to him for a minute and give him a kiss goodnight.
I miss having him there just for support
for my fears. I hate being scared. I loved just knowing he was there for me.
I miss cuddling with him and falling asleep. One Sunday we had taken a nap and I loved waking up next to him. Although we weren’t cuddling when I woke up, I still loved just him being there.
I love how he was so comfortable around me. We could have normal bodily functions and it wasn’t awkward or just weird. It was NORMAL.
I miss all the funny pictures he'd send me that made my day. :) Just him being himself and I loved it!
I love how he’d talk about me. I wasn’t just his girlfriend, but he’d actually talk to people about me. He wasn’t ashamed to be dating me, he actually was proud to be with me. When someone wants to be with you and talks to others about it, that shows you something.
I miss how he’d tell me I’m beautiful. I think that’s one reason why I loved sending him pictures. I’d get a compliment about something. :) I loved when he’d say “baby you’re beautiful” though. :) That was my favorite compliment. :)
I love that we’d read scriptures and pray together. Even though I’d say the prayer a lot I like how he’d get on his knees with me to pray. We supported each other in the church. We both KNOW this church is true.
Even though he is on his mission, he isn’t gone. He isn’t not there anymore. He’s just as real as he was 4 months ago before he left. He’s still my Mark, just being improved. :) He’s grown so much. He’s gaining his own testimony. He’s learning to rely on the Lord, and that’s what is most important.
I know I am going to marry him. I just feel it. And I cry thinking about it, but I know I want to be with him the rest of my life. When I think about kneeling across the altar from him in the temple I start crying again lol. Who wouldn’t want to be with someone for forever who makes them happy? He literally feels like the other half of me.
What’s different about this love then the love I’ve felt before is I felt like they were my other half but this time I don’t feel broken. I don’t feel useless. I feel fine. I am Jennica. Wholly. I just don’t have my best friend at the moment. He’s getting polished and will be back shortly. I don’t feel like I can’t do anything without Mark. I’d love for him to be apart of my life now and I wish he was, but I can still have fun. I can go out and see people, do activities and be aware of who I am. Mark is just a part of my life in a different way now. Although he isn’t HERE to experience it, he is still in my life. He is still very much a reason why I keep going everyday. Without his support and his “just do the best you cans” or “It’s okay I still love you”s, I don’t think I could go throughout the days I go through. I am succeeding with my goals but with his support. I love that. :)
Mark is gone for a short time, only 20 more months. :) Wow. It seems so short! Probably because it really is. Two years is but a blink of an eye in the eternal scheme of things.
I am excited for the day that Mark and I get married and are in an eternal partnership with our Heavenly Father. I love my Heavenly Father and thank him for the blessings he has given me in my life. He has really directed my life in a way to that which would lead me to Mark. I can’t even imagine what I would be doing now if I didn’t have Mark in my life. It really shows you that He really is watching and is paying attention. Right in my and Mark’s vulnerable moments He shows us He loves us. He led us to each other, and that’s the best blessing I can think of. :)
I love Mark and my Heavenly Father. They will both be a very large part of my future, that I am anxiously awaiting. But as for right now, I just need to remember that Mark loves me and Heavenly Father loves me. I need to achieve the goals I have set for myself and do the best that I can to make myself happy. Soon enough Mark will be home and I will be wondering where the time went. But as for now, here’s to 20 more months! :)
I miss cuddling with him and falling asleep. One Sunday we had taken a nap and I loved waking up next to him. Although we weren’t cuddling when I woke up, I still loved just him being there.
I love how he was so comfortable around me. We could have normal bodily functions and it wasn’t awkward or just weird. It was NORMAL.
I miss all the funny pictures he'd send me that made my day. :) Just him being himself and I loved it!
I love how he’d talk about me. I wasn’t just his girlfriend, but he’d actually talk to people about me. He wasn’t ashamed to be dating me, he actually was proud to be with me. When someone wants to be with you and talks to others about it, that shows you something.
I miss how he’d tell me I’m beautiful. I think that’s one reason why I loved sending him pictures. I’d get a compliment about something. :) I loved when he’d say “baby you’re beautiful” though. :) That was my favorite compliment. :)
I love that we’d read scriptures and pray together. Even though I’d say the prayer a lot I like how he’d get on his knees with me to pray. We supported each other in the church. We both KNOW this church is true.
Even though he is on his mission, he isn’t gone. He isn’t not there anymore. He’s just as real as he was 4 months ago before he left. He’s still my Mark, just being improved. :) He’s grown so much. He’s gaining his own testimony. He’s learning to rely on the Lord, and that’s what is most important.
I know I am going to marry him. I just feel it. And I cry thinking about it, but I know I want to be with him the rest of my life. When I think about kneeling across the altar from him in the temple I start crying again lol. Who wouldn’t want to be with someone for forever who makes them happy? He literally feels like the other half of me.
What’s different about this love then the love I’ve felt before is I felt like they were my other half but this time I don’t feel broken. I don’t feel useless. I feel fine. I am Jennica. Wholly. I just don’t have my best friend at the moment. He’s getting polished and will be back shortly. I don’t feel like I can’t do anything without Mark. I’d love for him to be apart of my life now and I wish he was, but I can still have fun. I can go out and see people, do activities and be aware of who I am. Mark is just a part of my life in a different way now. Although he isn’t HERE to experience it, he is still in my life. He is still very much a reason why I keep going everyday. Without his support and his “just do the best you cans” or “It’s okay I still love you”s, I don’t think I could go throughout the days I go through. I am succeeding with my goals but with his support. I love that. :)
Mark is gone for a short time, only 20 more months. :) Wow. It seems so short! Probably because it really is. Two years is but a blink of an eye in the eternal scheme of things.
I am excited for the day that Mark and I get married and are in an eternal partnership with our Heavenly Father. I love my Heavenly Father and thank him for the blessings he has given me in my life. He has really directed my life in a way to that which would lead me to Mark. I can’t even imagine what I would be doing now if I didn’t have Mark in my life. It really shows you that He really is watching and is paying attention. Right in my and Mark’s vulnerable moments He shows us He loves us. He led us to each other, and that’s the best blessing I can think of. :)
I love Mark and my Heavenly Father. They will both be a very large part of my future, that I am anxiously awaiting. But as for right now, I just need to remember that Mark loves me and Heavenly Father loves me. I need to achieve the goals I have set for myself and do the best that I can to make myself happy. Soon enough Mark will be home and I will be wondering where the time went. But as for now, here’s to 20 more months! :)
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