13 Months DOWN! :D

This month I think just the hardest part was time seemed to go by so slowly! I don't know why, but it just did.

I have been thinking a lot about how I was feeling this time last year and this time last year I THOUGHT time would go by so slowly, but it went by super quick and NOW it's going by slow haha. Weird right? I thought so. :)

So I have been trying different methods of waiting, thinking about him a lot or trying to not think about him. Some girls I think prefer one over the other and I think I definitely prefer reminiscing or writing him almost everyday. I feel like it makes time go by faster, well better I guess. I like it a lot better to think about him and how he and I were. Now don't get me wrong I ALWAYS thought about him. Just some girls don't write as often as I do and I for some reason didn't write as often for a couple weeks and I just didn't like it! Now that I'm writing as fast as I used to I really feel like I am happier. :) I love writing him and I don't like feeling like he won't hear from me because I am being lazy. I don't know, it's kind of a weird thought and feeling haha.

So Valentine's Day is tomorrow! The LAST Valentine's I'll have to spend alone! :) Yayyyy! I am So excited to say that. :) I don't mind being alone on Valentine's actually, I think it really bothers some people, but I'm like "Whatever, it's just another day." haha. Yeah.

Life has been crazy! My roommate is getting married! This is SO hard for me because she's my best friend here at college and it sucks kind of. Like I'm super happy for her, but it sucks that she won't be my roommate anymore... :( I'll have to blog about it haha. But I love her so much and I am so excited for her! :)

Mark is still on his mission and is loving it. :) He is transforming into a different person, a very good person though. :) He's telling me about attributes he's picked up and I'm like "Sweet! This is going to be awesome!" This just emphasizes the whole getting to know him again when he comes home. I feel like I know him, because I do-- I know his wants, goals and ambitions in life. I just have to get to know the more refined him, which I am so excited to do! :)

Only 11 months left! :D Yay! :)

One Year Done!

Oh my goodness I have finally hit the half way point! :D What the what?!

The last year has been such a roller coaster! I can't even believe everything that's happened. I miss him, yes but after I think the first six months I got used to the fact that he was gone and I couldn't talk to him everyday. Don't get me wrong, I still get upset every now and then about him being gone. I still cry every once in a while, but I'm trying to keep myself occupied and it doesn't upset me that much anymore. I still miss him a lot though!

I remember since the first day he left I was always thinking "I cannot wait until I can say that this day last year I wasn't with Mark so that means he is coming home soon." AND NOW I CAN SAY THAT! It's crazy!

Not going to lie, the last month went SLOWWWWW! I was talking to Jayda just being like "Holy cow these last few days couldn't have gone any slower!" She totally agreed with me haha, but I be that's what it will be like when he is about to come home next year. :) Crazy to think that this time next year he and I will almost be together (his transfers end on the 15th).

Today, the 14th, though is our 2 and a half year anniversary. :)

Time is so crazy and really seems like it's going slow but in the grand scheme of things it goes fast. I remember not being able to wait to move out of home and how I was thinking time would go so slow with Mark being gone. Now I'm like WOW! it's really been THAT long?!

Christmas was great too! :D I got to Skype with him. :) It was SO good to hear him and see him. :) 

Life is way good though! I am finally all settled in to St. George and am making a lot of friends, so they keep me entertained while I'm waiting for Mark to get back. :) I haven't gotten a letter in a few weeks, but I'm kinda getting used to it. I just remember that if he is either too tired or too busy to write me, either one is okay with me because that means he's working hard and doing his job instead of being worried about me or anything like that. I just keep in my mind that he is giving these two years to the Lord and when he is done with that he will be here with me, where we can talk everyday and stuff. :)

I've really been thinking about the past year, how I have grown and how he has grown. We both have grown up and become more mature I feel, for sure. I definitely have become more independent, I even consider myself a full blown adult... weird. He has just become so close to our Heavenly Father and Christ and it has changed him into something better than he ever has been. :) Whenever I talk to him about stuff going on here at home he will answer with some gospel things like scriptures or stuff and I love that! :) It just shows me that he is working and remembering and learning and doing amazing. :)

The past year has been difficult, but it's definitely been worth it. We have become better people and are more prepared for what life has to bring us when he does get home. I can't imagine what more we'll learn the next year, but I'm set and ready for the ride! :) 12 more months! :D

11 Months Down, 13 To GO!

The eleventh month! WOW all I can say is WOW! :D I can't even believe it. Only one more until the year and then it's all downhill from there baby! :)

First semester of college is done! Yayyyyyyyy! This semester was just hard. It was really tough to get through. So many changes, which made it difficult to get through but yes! I can finally say I have completed it! :) Oh what a good feeling that is.

I have learned so much! I can't even express how much I have learned since Mark has been away.

My roommates have gone for the holidays back home so I had to go to church alone today. It was kind of weird sitting there by myself just listening to everything. It made me realize how difficult it would be to sit there alone EVERY week and how much I never want anyone to have to do that. I really didn't want to stay for Relief Society, considering I was there all alone and I could really use a nap, but I decided that wasn't a good enough excuse to leave church so I stuck through it. The lesson was on the plan of salvation and how it helps us in our life. I have had this renewed testimony of this since the passing of my dad. At the end the teacher gave us time to bare our testimonies. I got this strong urge to bare mine and finally shared (with the 10 maybe 15 girls in Relief Society) my experiences this semester with my dad passing and how much easier life is with the knowledge I will see him again. I am so proud of Mark for being out on his mission and teaching those who don't currently know about this beautiful plan. With it I have the peace and assurance that because I am sealed to my dad, I will see him again and that this separation is only for the time being. That the sad feelings I have are just because I miss him in my Earthly existence, but I know I have him forever when I am in heaven.

I know this to be true. I have a testimony of this. Today at church helped me tie in to how grateful I am for the gospel and missionary work. That Mark isn't only a blessing in my life, but will always and forever be a blessing into someone else's life also. I am glad that I wasn't selfish to keep him here with me. I am glad that I am supporting his mission and him on his mission. I wouldn't have this life any other way! :)

Here's to the next 13 months! :D

10 Months AND 2 Year 4 Month Anniversary! BEST EVER!

WOW! Today calls for a big post!

First of all on the 11th we hit 10 months! :) And today, the 14th it is our 2 year and 4 month anniversary! :) I can't even believe it haha.

One of the pictures she added. He's learning how to cook! :D
Can anyone say cooking me breakfast when he's home?! ;)

Today definitely was one of the BEST days I've had in a long long LONG time! I was sitting in Calculus class and I looked at my phone (FINALLY-- I hadn't looked at it for a while because nobody texts me haha) and I had a voice mail from an unknown 706 number. I didn't know where it was from but the message was a good 46 seconds so someone didn't just call me for no reason. I got BIG butterflies. I run out of class and listen to the message and it's pretty much almost exactly what I thought it was-- a lady in Mark's area. :) The voice mail was all fuzzy so I just heard a little bit about this was Sister so and so and then Elder Gardner, so as any normal girlfriend would I FREAKED out! I hurried and called the number back a couple times and the second time someone answered and handed the phone to her. She was so nice! (She thought I was someone calling about girls camp haha) but after she knew who I was she was really really nice still! :) She talked to me and told me that Mark spends a lot of time at her house because they are teaching her husband's niece and that she's the one posting pictures of Mark on Facebook. She told me some funny things he had said about those pictures and it just made me laugh so hard! My roommate came into the room and saw me laughing really hard and tearing up at the entire conversation and she was all "It was so cute!" But I just wasn't expecting it! We talked for a good little while, I don't know maybe 15 minutes and she asked if she could tell him anything for me. Of course I just told her to tell him I love him. :) But it just made my day! She called me to just tell me he is getting transferred so I shouldn't send any packages to him for a while until he does get transferred, but I am just so glad I got to talk to her. :) The things she told me that Mark says just made me so happy! I think I just thought I wasn't that big of a part in his life anymore like I was, like I was just in the background and I didn't matter, you know being his support with all his focus on his mission (like it should be, don't get me wrong), but geez it was nice to hear that he talks about me or says funny comments about me still. :) That just made my entire day. :)

Getting Cupcakes-- 25th and Main Yummy!

I think that phone call, even though it wasn't meant to be one, was the best anniversary gift I have gotten since he's been gone. :) I loved it!

Surprise visit home! :)

So ten months aye? I seriously don't even remember what all has gone on. I swore to myself that I'd write it all down, but hey ya get busy ya know?! :)

School has gotten so crazy! I can't believe the first semester is almost over! I know the holidays are going to be hard, I am still adjusting to not having my dad around anymore, but I am still excited for them. :) After the holidays it is Mark's one year! :D That's the light at the end of the tunnel! :D

It has been hard. Holy moly it has been hard. You have to be able to keep the security in your relationship while still knowing you're in love with the person even though they aren't around, which is hard! Especially because you're not around each other at all anymore. It's a lot of work and is not easy by any means but I just know that it will be worth it. :)

Late night at the spinny park. :) 

I look at pictures of him now and just feel like I don't really know him as well. I KNOW him, but I can tell he is changing on the inside. :) His physical appearance is still as ATTRACTIVE as ever ;) But he has a different glow about him, a different presence about him -- kind of intimidating not going to lie-- but definitely a wonderful thing. :) It keeps making me want to be better, so how could it NOT be a good thing?

I think my words of advice this month is even when adversity strikes keep on sticking it out. It would be SO easy to quit, to stop waiting and date someone else, to just end everything and find someone else, but I know I'd be wondering what if. I don't want to do that to myself! In the beginning I don't think we can truly prepare ourselves for the hardships, the worry, the wondering, the hoping, but if you can get passed it all and really stick it out then I know we can make it through the two years and on to an eternal marriage. :)

Slumber party!

Today definitely confirmed to me that I still love Mark even though he isn't here anymore. When I think about seeing him or hearing from him I still get excited, I still cry or just get all butterfliey... haha new word? That definitely is a wonderful reminder that I still care for him immensely and want to keep on waiting for the next 14 months! :)

Woot woot! Here we go!!!!!!! :D

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

OH MY GOSH!! I never thought a day like this would come, but baby it's here and OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!

Okay okay so it's not that big of a deal, but while making my usually rounds on the Facebook pages, I was reading posts about girls having their boys out for 7 months, 8 months, etc and I remember the days I would look at those and be like, "Holy cow I wish III was at 7 months!" Now I read them and I'm like, "Oh I remember those days." Haha.. It's so weird! Don't get me wrong 7, 8 or even 2 months is really good progress! :) Keep on going!

Thinking about time, when I first started getting mentally ready for Mark to leave I was like "2 years will be easy, one year then the other then SHABAM he's home! :)" Haha but now I'm like, "I'm almost at 10 months... two months, then a year and SHABAM! He's home!" WHAT?!!!!!! That's honestly not that long! This school semester is wrapping up! CHRISTMAS... yes ladies... CHRISTMAS is almost here! GAH I think my heart just skipped a beat haha. :)

To whomever may be reading this, time goes fast or slow, it goes however fast you want it to. My advice at this point is to make sure you're doing activities that keep you occupied. Get a job and work a lot, go to school, just keep yourself busy! Remember that your boy, when he comes home, will be used to getting up early and staying busy all day. It makes their days go by fast and it will do the same for you. :)

Sheewwwt! Another 3 days and I am at 10 months! Excited to update all of you on what has been going on! :) Until then, keep yourself busy and get sleep! :) Remember: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man (woman) healthy, wealthy and wise.

Don't worry, I'm still working on it too. :) ;)

9 Months

Wow! It's been OVER 9 months now! Almost 10 and I still haven't written! :)

This last month, I'm not going to lie, has pretty much been one of the hardest we have gone through-- and I say we because it was particularly trying for Mark and I.

His mission has been hard, like every mission gets I know. He is learning so much and growing and still changing into a better man. :)

For anyone out there reading this wondering about the whole "waiting for a missionary" experience, I am going to tell you right now it's not all rainbows and butterflies after the first 6 months. It gets tough. You know how you are excited to turn 16 to get your license and 17 is like a "filler" year for the year before 18. Well that's how I feel with these in between 6 months to 12 month marks. It's been so aggravating! Haha but time is going by pretty fast. :)

Our mail got really messed up the past few weeks. So I didn't get a letter for two weeks! The letter I had gotten at the beginning of this month wasn't too happy because well he is on his mission and going through a lot of change, it's not easy and I am really glad he told me what was going on in his mission and in his head. (Communication is EVERYTHING while he is gone) So those 2 weeks I was really anxious to hear from him. This is where you learn the talent of keeping yourself distracted really well while you know he isn't doing too awesome... It sucks not being able to really do anything about it either. I just wanted to call him on the phone and make him smile like I used to be able to. It was so hard knowing that I couldn't do that, under any circumstances -- there was literally nothing I could do about it.

I finally received one of my letters, where he explained himself with the Me Going on a Mission thing and I was really glad to hear his explanation. I think that's the number one thing that was straining so much this month. It shouldn't be but it's stressful knowing how everything you thought would happen would be held off for 6 months to maybe a year.

I think what is most important though is that he and I are good now. :) I got his letter and I think he will be receiving mine soon, I hope so! It's nice knowing that we got through a hard month. It was one of the most straining and I feel accomplished getting through it because I didn't give up because everything wasn't dandelions and rainbows. We stuck through it all and now we are fine. :)

I still love him more than anything and can't imagine being with anyone else in my life. I am excited that time is still going by so swiftly! As of today only 81 more days until he has been gone a year! :D Ahhhh! Well here is to the next 15 months! :)

Mission?

As many people know General Conference this year was particularly interesting and life changing. Not only were inspirational words about this wonderful gospel were said, but the age of female missionaries allowed to serve a full time mission is now 19.

Ever since this announcement my head has been spinning! I have ALWAYS wanted to serve a mission. Ever since I was young! I didn't think I would get to though because before I turned 21 I was going to be married to Mark, so I never really worried about it. But now I could go before he comes back. Granted we are a few months past the 6 month point, meaning I wouldn't be here for his homecoming (like I've been dreaming of since almost 9 months ago). I have no idea what I am going to do.

I have prayed about it, but feel like it is solely my decision. I am worthy, have the money and means to go, but I just don't know what to do. It's scary- actually thinking about filling out the paperwork and getting endowments done to teach the gospel, but it's exciting all the same! I want to help in spreading the gospel more then I have. I want to get out of where I am comfortable in Utah and Arizona and have a real big change. I just don't know what to do.

I think it makes it a bit harder, because the prophet still doesn't say that all worthy and able females should go on their mission like they do with males. It's like "It's not a bad thing at all, it's a really good thing, but it's your decision." I don't feel obligated to go or not go. I don't feel like I should or shouldn't. I just am right in the middle where I think it'd be a fun experience, but scary at the same time.

I want to be able to know first hand what Mark went through. I want to have some of the same experiences. Of course our experiences would be totally different in ways, but similar in the fact that we'd be teaching the gospel and learning how to better serve our fellow men. He would have to wait a minimum of 6 months to a max of a year for me to get home. He'd be able to see first hand at what life is like in the "real world" if you will, waiting for someone. Then he might be able to better understand my feelings and emotions during this time I've been waiting for him so faithfully.

I don't want to do this to be away from him any longer then I have to be. I don't want to extend this period of time that I can't see him from the already long 2 years to maybe 2 and a half or 3, but I feel like I have such an opportunity and I want to be able to take it. I feel like I might be ungrateful for this wonderful revelation in our times not taking advantage of it while I can. I don't want to stay in Utah/ Arizona and not go around and see some of the world. I feel like I would be missing out on so many chances to get out and learn and see more about life-- maybe I'd appreciate mine more.

I want to get that deep connection with my Heavenly Father, more then I already have. Christ is my brother and best friend. I want to serve others the way He has served me.

I emailed Mark about it today and the response wasn't excited or sad. I think it's hard for him to digest. He's been used to the thought of me being home when he is home and I think the thought of me not being here when he's home isn't something he likes all that much. He said he'd support me and that he'd wait for me. Now I guess I feel like how he felt-- wondering if the other would wait. It's scary. Thinking that I've waited for so long on him to come home (almost a year now) and if he came home and for some reason didn't wait that 6-12 months for me to get there. What would I do? I know a lot of mission presidents make it a point to push the missionary to get married quickly after he gets home, so that thought kind of scares me. My mom says that if Mark is the one for me that he'd wait for me to come home. I believe that. It really does take character and discipline to wait so faithfully for someone. I don't know if many of the other girls who send out missionaries think this, but I know when Mark left and even still currently today I think, "Would he wait for me like I've waited for him?" I had asked him this before he left and he said he would and I trust that he would.

It's so crazy having the roles reversed. I wish he and I could really talk about it. I think that would be great, but you can't always have what you want right? I'm going to go talk to my bishop about it really soon so he can give me guidance and I can pray more about what I should do and when I should do it.

Who knows! Maybe this time next year I'll be almost done with my mission. :)