Months 17 and 18 Down, 6 to go!

I haven't updated about life in so long and I definitely think that today is a good day to do it! :)

Waiting has been hard. Struggling is only beginning to describe it. For a while doubt has struck me and feeling like I'm not good enough to have an RM for a boyfriend, much less a husband. I think this was Satan's way to make me feel bad about myself and try to make me give up. It was so difficult to get through this last month I can't even describe it, but I've made it through it. :) We aren't out of the woods yet, but I'm feeling a lot better about life than I did before.

We have been apart for so long it's weird to look at pictures and think, "That's the guy that loves me and wants to marry me." After so long I feel alone in life, like I don't have a boyfriend, but I know I do. Definitely the hardest part is to remember why I am waiting. Why this is all worth it. I am so glad that in the beginning I wrote a lot of Mark and my experiences together. I am also really glad that I've gotten to know his family so well, I honestly couldn't see myself without his family.

I got a package from Mark yesterday! :) My first package in a while, but my first letter too! :) I was so excited! In the letter he was talking about how his mission is tough right now and I think it's so crazy that he and I go through tough times at the same time. This just reminds me that we need to be there for each other and that I especially need to continue to life Mark up and support him on his mission. I am growing my testimony each day. I am reading my scriptures so that when he needs some strength it doesn't just come from me, but from Heavenly Father too. :)

I was only a little excited. ;)

Everything that was in my package. :) Gotta love it!

I'm excited to get to date him when he comes home. :) I always wanted to go on dates with someone, I never really have gone on an official date haha. I know that's kind of weird, but I really haven't! So I have decided that I can ask Mark on dates when he gets home and make them fun and spontaneous. :) At night I like sitting in bed and thinking about what I can do to surprise him and just have fun. :) It's going to be awesome! :) Getting to know him again I think is going to be a lot of fun. :) It's just going to remind me how we fell in love to begin with and I get to fall in love with him all over again. :) We aren't perfect people, but together we can strive to be perfect people with Christ.

I don't know if I explained this on here yet, haha but I don't know the exact date when Mark will come home. He wants to surprise me. I think this is adorable and I don't mind because I don't want to know what that dreaded week before he comes home feels like haha. I'll just be going about life as normal and BAM my boyfriend is home. It's gonna be awesome!!!!! I have 168 days until January 11th. :)

My advice to anyone this week is to have faith, even if your relationship seems to be slipping from you. It's not that he doesn't love you anymore, it's just that he is gone on a mission focusing on Christ and the gospel. Keep your faith that our Heavenly Father wouldn't have you wait in vain, that something good will come out of all of this. :) I love this gospel and I know that in the end, everything will be okay. :)

As for life in general this summer has been awesome! I went to visit my dad in Tennessee, where we went to the lake pretty much every day. :) It was great to be with family and going out to have fun all the time. I move back to St. George next week! And then after the school semester Mark will be home! I'm looking for a job right now and if any one reading this knows of one there let me know! That would be AMAZING! I have two friends getting married too! Next weekend and then the weekend after that. I am excited for them, but I keep thinking about that day that Mark and I will be sealed together forever. :) I can't wait! Life is good and it can only go uphill from here! :)

Leaving TN, It was a sad day.

At the firing range!

DQ. It's a family weakness. ;)

Late night Call of Duty. What up?!

Family photo. :)